I've been feeling a little uncomfortable about giving Mom the Ativan at night, mostly because I'm not really clear how she feels about it. Something doesn't feel quite right about giving medication to someone who can't easily protest. I gave it to her again this morning, first time she's had it during the day, and while she seemed agreeable, I just haven't been completely sure. So tonight, she started to have increased restlessness again and Mercy and I were both having trouble helping her to relax. I asked her outright if she wanted me to give her some more medication to help her calm down and she almost gave a little laugh of relief.... which really surprised me but also relieved me! It was the first real true sign that she is willing to accept some "better living through chemistry"! It opened up the discussion about the use of this medication... I asked her if she wanted me to offer it to her more often, and she gave me a clear "yes". I told her she can have it every 4 hours if she feels she needs it, even though it doesn't right now seem that she needs it that often. Anyway, I gave it to her and it really works like magic for her. It's the only time that we're able to view a little Laura sunshine, the only time we can get past the ever-present distress. We even had a little joke about this constant spreading of her feet (it's one of those things that often keeps her awake at night, whoever is sleeping with her has to get up numerous times during the night to spread her feet apart so they're not touching)... anyway, I made a joke about how I thought there must be magnets in her feet and that's what keeps pulling them together. It must have struck her funny because she actually had a little happiness and laughter over the magnetic feet! It just warmed my heart. I wrote yesterday about how FUN my Mom is and how much she has always liked to laugh. That's the kind of thing that always made her laugh, just the silly stuff. It was nice to be able to see that little bit of her come through.
The rest of the day was quiet. Mercy is in the habit of giving a sponge bath in the morning but doesn't wash Mom's hair, which is quite long and silver and beautiful these days. So today I did the hair washing with the hanging bag system and the draining head tray. Worked OK. We also did lots of arm work and she wore her arm braces a few times... they're designed to help prevent further contractures in her arms. Starting next week, the hospice agency is providing a weekly volunteer massage therapist as well as a volunteer who is certified in "healing touch" work. Don't know much about that but it's a special kind of light touch designed to stimulate healing energy and bring about relaxation. Mom said she's open to try it. Mostly, I think just the extra hour of relaxation time will be good for her. Lots of family coming this weekend... my Dad and Mary as well as Adam and Ladylove. Mercy spent lots of time today preparing her food ahead of time...her Ghana cooking is quite interesting and usually smells delicious. Phil and I heard Mercy singing to Mom tonight as she was getting her into bed. We thank God for Mercy.
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We finally figured out how to do this! Took us a while! We read the blog every day, and are encouraged! Tell Laura she is in our hearts and prayers often, and give her a hug for us!
Our next goal is to get our picture in the "followers" section -- haven't a clue how to do it, but we will keep at it!
(For those unfamiliar with the terminology, "sweeties" refers to the Ross's -- Bob and Helen in Charleston!).
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