Here's a 6/2006 picture of Mom at the pool at our villa in Tuscany. Still a rainy time in NJ but Mercy and I got Mom out for a great walk yesterday. There was a light spray of rain falling... not drops, just mist. Mom was definitely up for it. As we were walking, I think we ALL realized how nice it is to be out of the house that we're going to attempt several times per week. (Mercy suggested every day... I think that's what we'll shoot for). Poor Mercy though... she's not a very in-shape person and I'm afraid that even that walk around our block gave her some back trouble. So last night, in the middle of settling Mom in for the night, we had to get Mercy stretched out! She and I had a long talk yesterday... I've been feeling like I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one day and she was packed and ready to leave. She makes comments to Mom sometimes like "Oh, I can't stay here, I can't take this". We talked about it and she explained to me that she feels like she and Mom get on just fine but then every time I walk in the room, Mom cries or needs something that Mercy couldn't give. I told her the story about when I was 9 and I was in an accident that ruptured my spleen... I had to have surgery and spend a night or two in ICU after my surgery... I was completely petrified. I remember the next morning when Mom and Dave arrived to visit me... and to see my mother's face, I couldn't even speak. I immediately began to cry at the sight of her. She ran up to me and was right away trying to figure out what was wrong thinking I was in pain... when Dave said "I think she's just glad to see you." That's all it was. I was just so glad to see her that I cried. I tried to tell Mercy that my mother will always have more to say, more reaction, more needs for me just because I'm her daughter. She told me that she's afraid I'll think she's not doing a good job. Obviously that's not the case... I do ask Mom pretty regularly if everything is good with Mercy. She always says "yes". Even last night I had to ask Mom... "does it bother you when Mercy is singing her gospels that loud?" But Mom said No. Mercy does a lot of praying and singing and is quite loud about it... but here again is my mother teaching me to see the beauty. Once she said it doesn't bother her, I thought "Oh, good, yeah, I guess it's kind of beautiful".
So the walk was good. Mom also had a visit yesterday from a massage volunteer who works for the hospice agency. Her name was Kathy and she was wonderful with Mom. She's going to come once a week as well as we'll receive visits from a "healing touch" volunteer once a week. I guess that's like a very light massage aimed at moving around healing energy. Mom's open to it, that's all that matters.
Mom didn't get out of the bed yesterday... maybe she was tired from the walk and the massage... and then the early evening hour hit and that's just always a tough time of night. We're beginning to recognize it together so at least we can know it's "normal". She told me yesterday that she's very homesick. She misses her home and her things and there's definitely part of her that wants to be there right now instead of here. I just can't imagine what she feels... her whole everything being all turned around, and now so much is unfamiliar. We'll all continue to do everything we can to help her feel at home. I'm sure part of it must be her feeling that if she were home, she'll feel again like she did 2 months ago... which was definitely better than she feels today!
Chloe pulled her hamstring and ligament in dance class on Thursday night and has wound up on crutches, no gym or dance for 2 weeks, and she'll need 2 weeks of physical therapy. She really did a job. That was a little bit of a "wrench" but we're learning to just take things as they come.
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